Sober-October

It’s happening again.

No booze for the month of October.

Can it be done? Probably. Will it be done? Hell yes.

Since Project 10, I’ve noticed three things; beer tastes amazing. Beer…it tastes amazing and the amazing taste of beer is, well, amazing. No seriously, 3 things have happened; I’ve managed to find 3kgs, I have less money at the end of the month and beer, it tastes amazing.

Led's go...Soberville here we come.

With Summer rolling round and the awesomeness of the Rugby World Cup circle-jerk literally on our door step, there will be braai’s, braai’s and more braai’s which means one thing, wait…two things, wait, three things; roadblocks, drunken drivers and beer. Now, before you go scolding me for taking the beers name in vain, understand that even though I’m a lover of festivities, beer will be the main culprit of all that will go wrong over the next one and a half months.

Without beer, there’d be no need for roadblocks and douchey drivers on the road, wait, that’s a lie…there are always douchebags on the roads, but there is no doubt in my mind that they become even more of a hazard when they’ve sunk a few, so to speak. Embracing Sober October is and will be one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever had to make. Yah sure, I might be missing out on all the rugby related shenanigans, but hey…I’m kind of keen on pouring myself a tall glass of responsibility each and every braai, pub crawl and well, you get the picture. What can you expect from me during this time? Basically the same old man you’ve come to love, adore and make a catheter replacement each and every time I need to go to the bathroom. I know, it’s an endearing image. Just go with it.

Awesome campaign from Oz! Click the image!

Saving money? Not really. Depending on one month to replenish that that has been depleted in the last couple of months is a little ambitious to say the least, but hey, every little bit counts right? Right? It’s not so much the money, nor the drunken driving expeditions that has and will inevitably rub me up the wrong way if I chose to embrace October like a “human being”, it more the fact that I don’t know how much longer I can sustain being a sub 80kg man.

Yes, I’m talking about weight and self-consciousness and yada yada, all that insecure non-sense that has basically consumed my blogging life for this entire year. So, brace yourself for a few more tales from a fattie over the next month or two. Will one month make much of a difference to my weight? I think so, as long as I stay away from the sugary goodness that is Coca Cola – yes – I am…addicted – I think that if I manage to stay away from the addiction, I think I might stand half a chance in losing a little over this festivity induced period. Who knows though, right?

This is where I end off, wishing you all the best of the luck and safety over this time. If you liked or at least related to any part of this post, do me 3 solids, okay:

1. Don’t drink and drive. Our cab services in South Africa, especially Joburg are pathetic, but use them anyway. Safe or sorry, you choose.
2. Don’t over do it. Seriously, everything in moderation…except if the Boks win the world cup, then I might just have a cranberry juice; oh yes!
3. Don’t text and drive. I recently watched this gripping documentary on YouTube from AT&T (Warning: it’s a little depressive, but lank eye-opening…) that told the stories of family and friends who lost loved ones because they were texting and driving. We all do it and it’s not worth it. Seriously. Remember this, if nothing else; “It Can Wait.”

Okay, this is the last word – promise – if you feel like taking up the fight, rubbing against the grain, which is not meant to sound dirty at all, support the cause by “going dry”, use the banner below to promote your own journey through Sober-October and tweet through your sobriety with the hashtags indicated below:

(I’m not attempting to start a movement nor take away from the amazing work “No Regret Friday” are doing, this is just me…doing what feels good. See you on the other side!)

Tweet sober this "Ocsober"!

Tags: Alcohol, Blogging, Feel Good, Fun, Initiative, Ocsober, Project10, sober, Sober October

My first WTF Talk

It’s done.

Some of you may know, others may not, but just last week I formed part of an incredible speaking panel at this year’s WTF Media Conference, which was held at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology down in Cape Town.

Firstly, I cannot begin to explain to you the nerves that truly took over when doing last minute preparation behind the scenes. Fortunately or unfortunately I was first up, that right…literally the first speaker to talk after the Dean of the Information Department at CPUT, which kind of made me feel like I was back at school – speaking directly after a member of faculty and all – regardless of which, it truly did nothing for my nerves.

The Talk was MC’ed on the day by the wonderfully elegant, Heidi Schneigansz or better known as SnowgooseSA on Twitter. She truly commanded the stage and was more than brilliant as she introduced each speaker before they came up. This year the WTF Media Conference was run in much the same style as a TED-Talk which basically means you had little to no time to speak. Apparently I got the memo about this – which I did – but subsequently ignored the different coloured lights from the back of the auditorium and barreled my way through my “Questions Time”. I know…my bad.

So, I set the pace and I’ll be honest with you, the feeling of being up there and speaking about something you feel this passionately about it fairly addictive. I regret not being able to shorten my talk to 10-12mins, being able to answer questions would have been a better wrap up to my speech than stmbling through my last 5 or 6 points, but as they say in France; “C’est la vie”. Maybe they’ll have me back next year to finish off the other half of my speech…*crosses fingers and other crossable appendages*

I promised I’d send those who were interested in seeing my Prezi a link, but instead managed to work a little magic and embedded my Prezi into my blog – oh yes – the man has a little basic HTML skills to. Check it out below…(you’re welcome to pan freely – simply click on the arrow button to “play” and click forward or backwards depending on your orientation.)

Just for good measure, I decided to take a couple of screenshot of the tweets I received while talking on stage. What? I’m sentimental, okay? Gimme a break. Thank you to all those who tweeted up a storm…feels good to know at least some people were listening.

Last but not least, thank you to the team from the WTF Media Conference for their professionalism and encouragement. I truly appreciate it. Also, a massive thank you to all my fellow speakers from the Conference, I am humbled to be in the presence of such experience, knowledge and talent.

Tags: Blogging, CPUT, Feel Good, Social Media, southafrica, Speaking, WTFmedia

Speaking

There’s a lot to be said about those who can speak in front of a crowd. I’m okay in small groups; motivating a team, speaking to a boardroom or simply talking in front of friends and family, but a crowd. Can’t say I’ve ever been that comfortable with it. I would compare it to the sudden frisking from a airport official – who I can assure you, doesn’t buy you a drink before giving you the jangle of your worst nightmares.

Recently I was given the opportunity to speak, that’s right, speak to a group of eager digital marketing students at what is now known as the WTF Media Conference (originally called the Wednesday, Thursday, Friday Conference as it was spread over 3 days). Things have changed this year and the setup for the 2011 WTF Media Conference will be done in a TED-like speakers panel, giving each speaker between 5 and 15 minutes to speak about one of two key insights into their chosen industry, field or experience. Now, anyone who’s anyone has watched a TED-Talk at least once in their lives and what you’ll notice is that…well, they can all speak really well. Me…not so well. Well, I can write, eloquently, sort of, but talk…

Crisis: Engaged.

WTF Media Conference

So, we have three problems Houston:

1. I don’t speak well in front of people
2. I don’t speak well in front of people, and
3. What would I say?

Speaking about my industry conjures up both feelings of passion and cynicism.

Passion because currently, I’m doing what I love, every day. Be able to use tools to market incredible brands in some of the most innovative way possible on a daily basis truly brings out the best in me. I love working with creative people. Creativity is part of who I am and even though I’ve left my Photoshop brushes behind, being able to enthuse people through understanding a brand’s messaging, products and marketing strategy conjures up more personal creativity than I even thought possible.

Cynicism because, well, let’s face it…social media isn’t the most respected career path known to man. It’s not rocket science, even though sometimes navigating some of the Promotional Guidelines and Terms of Use on Facebook can seem like you’re attempting to launch your own version of Sputnik with little more than a paperclip and chewing gum, but the fact of the matter is, it isn’t as cut and dry as everyone make it out to be. There is more to the “Days of Our Lives of a Social Media Community Manager” than glorified Public Relations and putting out fires. Listening and understanding what your community needs is far more important that simply marketing nonsense to them on a daily basis, sometimes on an hourly basis.

The point I’m trying to make here is that, without even trying I managed to drum up a piece for my talk this Friday. Speaking from the heart and speaking from experience about “The Truth About Social Media” I hope will give those either considering going into the field or those wanting to work in digital advertising a swift kick in the face with regards to what happens when you naively think that Social Media will fall smoothly into your marketing strategy and if you have a Facebook Account you can just as easily implement a Social Media campaign. There’s more to it, trust me.

Hopefully some of my reader from Cape Town will wash off their Phuza Faces and come on down to the Cape Peninsula University of Technology at around 08h30 or so to listen to me while I do my best to be as honest and forth-coming about one of the fastest growing and controversial industries in marketing.

Errmmm...my thoughts exactly!

PS: This is not an industry related Blog post.

Tags: Blogging, Conference, CP, Feel Good, WTF, WTFMediaConf

The times, they are a-changin’

There comes a time in everyone’s life when things begin to take shape, whether it’s in their professional careers or their personal lives, things are always changing. Yeah sure, things can get stagnant at times, but the only reason things are probably getting stagnant is because you’re more than likely ignoring the things in your life that are changing, everyday.

I was once told that, the world stops for no man and by guard, it’s true. When things tend to fall apart around you or you become flustered with one thing or another, life just soldiers on without you and it’s up to you to catch up or be left behind in the dust bowl known as “what if”. It’s a sad truth, but a truth nevertheless that I’m sure most of us have come to experience at least a couple of times in our own lives.

Times. They're like...changing and stuff.

How does this relate to me and this sad excuse for a blog? Well, things are changing. I’m not exactly sure how, but they are. You know when you know, right? Well, that’s what I just keep telling myself everyday. I’m not sure if I’m convincing myself of it though or if things are really changing. Changing for the better? Hell yes, I wouldn’t really be writing about it if it was a negative change, now would I? Okay, maybe I would, but I wouldn’t sound as upbeat as this…I sound upbeat, don’t I? Well, it is positive and things are definitely changing for the better. It’s weird, even though I can’t exactly put my finger on it, I feels reassuring and it’s something that I’m truly comfortable with.

Even though I might not be totally aware of the changes themselves or be able name them in alphabetical order, I’m okay with whatever’s happening because it feels good. Personal or professional? Both maybe, I’m not too sure, all I know is that at the moment, life is really good and maybe, just maybe the title of this blog post should have gone something like; “Hells yeah Life, gimme a high 5” or “Take that negative Nancy” – I have no idea who Nancy is and I’m certainly not that upbeat naturally, so let’s just stick with what we have, shall we? You see, there it is again, acceptance of an uncertainty. *shrugs*

I’ve never been one to shy away from change. Look, it’s not exactly the easiest thing to accept – the fact that things are changing – after all, with change comes new challenges, stress, responsibility, yeah…you know, all those adult things! Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for challenges and I have no problem with a fat pile of responsibility being plonked on my desk, in fact, I welcome it. The only thing that irks me though is, and I’d like to quote the late Biggie Smalls on this one; “mo’ money more problems…” Now, I’m not saying I’m in the running for “more money”, quite the opposite actually, but I am saying that it’s rather apt when it pertains to things you like, in my case, a challenge and responsibility. I no doubt feel that with this new change as it may, there will be a teething period that will fit much like a pair of new jeans – you know they’re your size, but they still need to be worn in…just ever so slightly.

Pass. It shall. And stuff.

Bring on the pain. Sounding moody again, right? Well, I’m no idiot and would be a fool to think that this change isn’t going to bring with it a delicious dose of pain. Emotional, physical perhaps or just mental, either way, something’s going to hurt and when it hurts, it’s going to suck. If it’s now sounding a little depressive, look at it this way…I’m trying to let go of the naivety of yesteryears and embrace all that life has taught me and what it’s taught me is that, with the good, comes the bad. Ever heard of that saying; “This too shall pass”?

A lot of literal Philistines use it when referring to something bad, as if to heed the pain someone else is going through and reassure them of the fact that it will eventually subside. Well, they’re wrong. The quote, “This too shall pass” is intrinsically linked to good times. Yes, good times. You know, when you’re feeling unbeatable, top of your game and so on. Well, it all passes and I have come to realise that the good times, they don’t last that long. Sure, they last a significant amount of time to enjoy them, but they rarely last for long enough…maybe that’s what we take photo’s, you know, to reminisce and stuff. With that said, my step away from naivety embraces the ideal that you, we, I should be truly relishing the good times for all their worth, because after all, “this too shall pass”. Hey, maybe that should be the name of this post…? Oh screw it.

To culminate – always likes that word – I urge you, my electorate, to embrace change, whatever it may be. There’s no reason to shy away from what will be, it’s going to happen one way or another so you might as well enjoy the goodness while it lasts in the understanding that kak is sure to follow and when it does arrive, take it on with no fear…and if it hurts, you know what?

It’s probably worth it.

Tags: Blogging, Feel Good, Life, Maturity, Responsibility

Call off the search, I’m alive

Right, so here’s the thing…I don’t blog for the sake of blogging and I don’t choose to document every little instance that happens in my life on this excuse for a publication known as my blog. If I’m sounding a little pissed off it’s because so much had happened lately that I literally have not had the time to write – wait, let me rephrase that – I have not had the energy to write.

Coming home after a long day of being awesome literally leaves me with little to no energy to produce anything for you, my wonderful electorate. And if it sounds like I’m making excuses, it’s probably because I am and I apologise. On a lighter note, I’m back and have so much to share with you. Regrettably I’m not going to be sharing it all in this little post, because I want you coming back…yes, I’m going to draw it out. Come on, give me a break here…I haven’t blogged for over a month and none of you little bastards missed me. Shame. On. You. Okay, fine…shame on me. Whatever.

Onto business and business to be exact is great. As of the end of this month, I would have been at my current job one year and I can tell you honestly…I never thought I’d be doing this for a living, not in a millions years – and here I am…a year later. Incredible, to say the least. Grateful, to continue to say the least and without getting too self-laudatory (that’s a word I found recently), a situation that I believe I have begun to make some shred of an impact in this industry I now call home.

Being remarkable.

The man is betrothed…that’s right ladies. This man, is taken and happy and squishy and lovely and elated to be with a woman who has the ability to make the cloudiest of days shine brighter than the love child of Stephen Hawking and Albert Einstein (eeeuuuwww). I know. I know. If it sounds like I’m giving this incredible woman more praise than a Sunday Mass it’s because she deserves it. “I feel pretty, oh so pretty…I feel pretty and witty and errrmmm”…yah, I feel lucky. Lucky because there’s no conceivable way that a man like me should be even sitting on the bench, wait, warming the bench for the bench sitters in her league. I feel privileged to be cared for by such an incredible woman – you know who you are.

Yellow.

My brother. The genius of a man is rocking Cape Town a new one in more ways than I can begin to explain. Currently he’s been splashed across nearly every television in South Africa in a new Stimirol advert for their new product called “The Taste Twist” – yes – I know I probably shouldn’t be giving kudos to another advertising company, but the advert is brilliant and my brother rocks this sh*t like nobodies son! If you haven’t already seen it, have a look at the video below, it’s quick and if you haven’t already picked him out…he’s the amazingly well spoken, good-looking guy peering over at the mangled basted lying on the floor.

There is so much pride on this side of the screen it’s almost too much to bare. He’s currently finishing up his 3^rd year and has been called for a casting in the remake of “The History of Britain” – a madly popular and Emmy winning series featured back in 2000. The man is taking over I tell you. I shall forever ride the coattails all the way to the bank. Okay, not really, but really.

Without giving too much away, as I fear I already have in this post, I shall call it a day here and end off by saying thank you. Thank you to each and every one of you who come passed to spit and/or stroke this sad excuse for a blog. I’m completely grateful to have this as a medium to express my opinions, views and feelings. And for the last time, I’m sorry I’ve been away so long. *circle-jerk*

Tags: Aqua Online, Blogging, Feel Good, Fun, Love, Project10, Social Media, Stimirol

10 things I’ve never done

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking around what I’d like to achieve in my life. In conjunction with the pre-mentioned statement, I have also thought about what I have achieved thus far and the list my dear electorate is immense. As proud as I am of what I have been through and achieved, I still feel as though there are some insurmountable tasks that still lie ahead of me in not too distant future. Some of which I think are attainable. Some of which are not.

...I've never done.

There’s a very short list and there’s a very long list, most of it personal and maybe a little too personal to divulge in writing, but as for the rest of it I think I’ve done a pretty good job in telling you what I’d still like to master, overcome and achieve…here we go:

1.  I’ve never summited a mountain.

Yes, there’s a little Bear Grylls in me and that man beast is dying to get his hands on some ragged rock faces and plant a flag in the ground at some or other peak. I’m not saying I’m planning on doing Everest or anything like that, although that would be incredible – there, I said it…Everest. I’d like to climb guard damn Everest. I’d probably die trying, but hey…at least it has a hell of a view, right? Right?

2.  I’ve never gone faster than 300km/h.

I’m a bit of speed freak, actually, I’m a boy racer at heart and there was once a time when I could tell you the engine modifications of a car simply by looking under the bonnet or hearing a car rev passed. I know, geeky-South-side crew in the house! Kidding. But, I would still definitely like to go…faster.

3.  I’ve never had sex in a movie theatre.

Over share? Toughies. Well, I haven’t. Look, I’m not one for public displays of sexual acts, but I do like to get my freak on from time to time and there’s a lot to be said about keeping things spicy. Especially when it’s spontaneous. Still over sharing? Moving on.

4.  I’ve never surfed a day in my life.

Yeah, this is me being the outdoorsy kind of person again. Ask anyone who knows me, I love the ocean, but catching the elusive first barrel is something I have yet to explore. Part of me thinks it’s because I’ll be…like…fully addicted man and then there’s the other part of me that says I’ll probably look like an absolute toss.

5.  I’ve never ridden a motorbike.

Yes, it’s true. Wait, before you think this one is pathetic…let me rephrase, I’ve never been on a bike before. You know, like riding as a passenger and stuff, yah…never done that! Is that sad? I hear I’m seriously missing out and I am determined that by the age of 30 I will have a bike license.

6.  I’ve never had a drink with my father.

Not really that much to say here other than the fact that I have chosen to avoid mixing “business with business” so-to-speak. I look at friends of mine who’ve told me stories of them and their old man having a weekly beer at the pub down the road, it sounded good but could never relate.

7.  I’ve never been to Asia.

I have been privileged enough to travel the world quite extensively, but seem to have bypassed Asia for some or other reason. I hear I’m missing out. Thailand and India specifically…it’s next on the hit list, okay? Okay.

8.  I’ve never sold a drawing.

So, some of you may or may not know that I can draw. It’s true, there’s a little artist hiding inside of me and it’s been a while since I have taking the little bastard for a stroll. Look, I’m no Connor McCreedy nor will I ever be in the same realm as a William Kentridge, but I have talent and there’s a big part of me that regrets not pursuing it for one and two, at least having the mustard to keep at it. I will be revived.

9.  I’ve never invented anything.

Sounding a little far fetched? Well, it’s true. I would love to invent something…someday. Even if it is never mass produced to earn me millions of beer tickets, the idea of creating something functional to serve a moderately insignificant function would be incredible, I’m thinking; “The Gasmproducingseatwarmerthingymabob – For getting off, when you’re getting on!” Not bad, right?

10.  I’ve never said thank you to my mother the way she deserves.

This is not an over share nor is it overly personal, but the truth of the matter is, is that one day, I would like to give my mother the French Villa with a library she’s always wanted. Like me, she loves to read…actually, like her, I love to read, but she is the uber bookworm of note. I know that “a Villa in France” sounds like a monetary possession and maybe you’re right, but it’s what she deserves and one day I will make that dream of hers come true. I hope.

Frikking 10 man!

A lot of what you’ve read above might seem even more easily achieved than the insurmountable tasks I made the post out to divulge. Maybe you’re right, maybe of these are easily achievable, but to give you a little insight into myself…I never do things half measure, so if I’m going to mountain climb, it’s going to be Everest. If I’m going to be going 300km/h, I’m going to be doing it on my own bike, with a surfboard strapped to my back while having sex in a movie theatre while drinking with my father over Skype (maybe) from Japan after selling my first collection of charcoal drawings and wicked cool patents to a Japanese business man who needed a better solution for urinal cakes all the while being on the phone with my estate agent procuring a Villa in France for my Mash. Please, hold the applause.

Tags: Blogging, Feel Good, Fun, Maturity, Reason

Walking with giants

Some of you are probably wondering where the strange title for this post comes from, well, to divulge right from the get go, I have been privileged enough to have chosen to form part of the South Africa crew of PUMA Brand Ambassadors. Yes, that’s right! Me, a brand Ambassador…what were they thinking? But seriously, all jokes aside. I couldn’t be happier and more honoured to have this little responsibility. If you cast your stalker-like eyes to the right hand side of my blog (only viewable on the Home Page of my blog…), yes – branding – I know, right? Heavy.

Firstly, a couple of truths about the brand and I; I think that before my Ambassadorship orientation, I owned probably 2 pieces of PUMA apparel. A whole two. A t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants that I can admit formed part of my sleeping uniform. As one of the rock stars from PUMA put it so elegantly as I walked into the concept store at Maponya Mall, “Hey Phinda”, speaking to the gorgeous store manager. “Look at this guy!” to which she replied, “Oh my gawd, this will not do…you need to get PUMArised immediately.” In my defensive I had just come from work and was looking rather corporate in comparison to the sea of high-tops and hoodies. Hey, give me a break…I can be gangster, I can be hip, but “street”…that’s another story.

PUMArised, beeoch.

Before actually getting to the store, I was able to meet some of my fellow PUMA Brand Ambassadors and to be honest, a clear state of intimidation hung over me like a wet rag on St.Patrick’s Day – I’m not sure what that had to do with anything but it sounded cool, okay? These Masters of Industry completely and utterly blew me away and even though I won’t mention any of them by name, I can assure you, the names that this brand has chosen to approach on a local level are beyond incredible. Hence, the wet rag syndrome. If there is one thing that I learned above all else upon entering this incredibly tight knit family is that PUMA, as a brand are more musical orientated than I could have ever imagined. Now, I’m not talking, branded musical instruments, but more along the lines of being present in the every day lives of some of the world’s most prolific music artists.

PUMA...come get some!

From hip hop to electro, from house to the mainstream stage of radio and back. They do it all and their presence is not something that is typically pushed in your face. The subtlety in the branding of these musical cowboys is brilliantly done. Further more, these carefully selected Brand Ambassadors have adopted the brand into their every day lives and the growth between artist, celebrity and personality have become seamless. This pure organic process is something that I think PUMA as a brand hold dear to their marketing department’s hearts. The industry angle is amazing and to form an integral part of this organic PUMA family tree is truly an honour.

In leveraging this blog and my online presence, I hope to create my own steady branch and vine among some of these incredible people.

So, what can you expect to see from me? Well, expect me to be blogging and blogging about the brand from time to time, not because it’s my job, but because my relationship with this brand has gone from “awareness” to “adoration”. These guys are doing something right and not just here in South Africa, but across the globe. I admire clever marketing and I enjoy a brand that has the guts and the pizzazz to put their reach in the hands of its consumers. There are a lot of brand out there right now who attempt to get this right on a very small activation basis, but I ask; where’s the longevity? Where’s the brand loyalty? Where’s the adoration from these so called “industry influencers”? They short answer is, as long as the brand’s budget. This I’m happy to report is not the business model that PUMA works with. Their trust and affiliation with “key players” in various industries allows them to have an eclectic voice that spans not only countries, but continents. Again, the honour is almost too much to put into words.

So, to end off; am I excited about this new little venture? Crisis…I couldn’t be more…ermm – okay, I’m not going to say the word again, but if you’ve read carefully you’ll know exactly how I feel.

In the words of the legend himself, “The speed of the PUMA!” – Bravestarr

"Speeed of the PUMA!" - RAWR!

Tags: Blogging, Brand Ambassador, Music, PUMA, southafrica

The mother cupping cupcake

So, post confessional rants are usually to say thank you for the absolute raping I received for my previous post – okay – thank you, no really, thank you. Moving on. This past Monday I happen to be given a cupcake by my HOD (Head of Department for all you non-coolness-speaking-peeps). The cupcake, brown in colour, resembled something out of a catalog…I mean, the delicious little thing didn’t even look real to me! It looked, well, too good to be true!

It didn’t stand a chance.

Seriously…the tiny little bastard didn’t even put up a fight.

I mean, it was literally begging me to devour it!

I took a bite…

About 0.45secs later I tweeted at the Cupcake Lady (the mastermind behind the taste-bud orgasm inducing morsel) and this is what my tweet looked like:

> That's right Ms.Biel...I will f-ing eat you.<

This all ties up to my last post on confessions and I’m actually proud to confess that I know the “Cupcake Lady” herself. This amazingly talented women goes by the name of, Angel Conradie and her cupcakes are exactly that…”baked by an Angel”! I know, right? I should totally charge for sexual favours right now! Anyway, here’s a little exert from her website:

I am The Cupcake Lady, and I am the undisputed Queen of Confectionary.

I simply adore cupcakes. So much so that I even have one tattooed on my right calf!

When you eat one of my cupcake creations, you will be able to taste how much I love making them, and you will want another one! They are baked fresh with the only the best ingredients, and I am constantly experimenting with new flavours, colours and icing techniques. Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, crème brulee… whatever your taste may be, I have a cupcake to match it! They are decorated in an endless variety of beautiful designs to suit any occasion, be it a wedding or a whim, and now you can even have your cupcake in a jar!

My cupcakes have been described as mouth-gasms and are said to make your taste buds dance. I pride myself on making the whole thing taste divine, cake and icing together, and nothing leaves my kitchen unless I have tasted it and approved it.

I have now also started hosting cupcake decorating parties, supplying everything from the cakes to the sprinkles for a few hours of fun, whether it’s a kids’ party or some time with friends doing something different.

If after reading that you don’t go check out her website and order some damn-delicious-amazeballs cupcakes then you have no soul – just kidding – no seriously, no soul.

If that doesn’t tempt you…check these little creations out:

Dinosaur cupcakes! RAWR!

An octopus...on a cupcake! NOM!

Is that a Flake? ARRGH! NOM!

Hamburger cupcakes! NOM!!!

I told you so…go…order…you know you want to!

Tags: Angel, cupcakes, Dieting, Feel Good, Food, Fun, Love, southafrica

The confession

So, yesterday…okay fine…for the past couple of days I have been making a menace out of myself and have been giving into some of the finer things in life. I’ve been cheating.

I admit it. I have been cheating, not only on you but on myself. I am ashamed and feel disgusting.

It’s not easy admitting to failure but I feel as though it’s time to come clean about what I have done and confess to you all – well, those of you that actually read this whole host of drivel.

I have been eating and eating well.

Okay, not that well, but I have been sampling some of the more delicious food groups on the market and may gawd is it all amazing. This past weekend, I slammed what can only be called a “Shintzel from Heaven” in my gut. I couldn’t help myself. It was cold, dark and I thought it was you…soup. It was amazing. I can honestly say it never stood a chance against my tremendous jaws of hunger and the satisfactory “fullness” I felt afterwards was testament to the something I have been missing out on for the past couple of months. I have seriously missed it. Just to bring you up to speed on my diet over this period. Soup. Biltong. Nuts. Fruit. And salad.

I know, right? Adventurous! It’s actually quite sad and to be honest with you, it’s all become rather tiring. I’m exhausted. My energy levels are at an all time low and my motivation to keep going is starting to wain.

Still feel motivated? No. How about now? Nope.

Look, it’s not all doom and gloom. I have lost a staggering 8kgs and that is seriously something to keep focused on to maintain my drive, but as I said in my last post…I’ve hit this “Plateau” and finding time to exercise after a full day of work as well as feeling as low as I am, is (I want to swear here) really hard. It’s not a question of motivation because I do want to keep going, but I feel like I’m losing sight of the path ahead of me. I don’t know any one else who’s going through what I’m currently experiencing – because gawd forbid another male come out and say that they have insecurities about the way they look and that they’re trying to lose weight – so, in all honesty, I feel like I’m on my own here. Now, before the ladies come to my rescue on that point, understand that men and women are different and asking me to relate to you will not work.

I really won’t and I don’t mean to offend you, but women have and deal with insecurities differently to men, so, even though I appreciate your support…you really can’t help me.

You can tell I’m dying for a little love, right? *internal snigger*

Storm Trooper Facepalm...yes...do it.

What am I really trying to say? That I feel like instead of being supported and having being told congratulations I’ve been made fun of and told that I’m being ridiculous? Maybe. Okay, yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. Here’s where I kick myself in the face for sounding like a needy little scrotum and just carry on with life…I look back at those last couple of sentences and it reassures me that what I’m doing, this journey, this torture…whatever you want to call it, has been for me and for no one else. I don’t need recognition. I don’t need appraisal. I don’t need reassurance from anyone else but myself.

It’s really strange how clear things become as you write through them.

Tags: alone, Blogging, Dieting, Motivation, pain, Project10

The Plateau

Some of you might have forgotten that this unsung South African blogger is still practicing Project 10. Yes, I’m not there just yet.

To bring you up to speed, over the past 4 months, I have literally turned over a new leaf – no reference to salad there – to change for the better. To introduce the good, cut out the bad and hopefully reshape my physical appearance to not only present a better me to the world, but to feel better about who I am as a person. I have made reference to many related insecurities over the past couple of months and I’m sure you feel, as I do, that you know me a little better than the next South African web-scribe.

Insecurities...I haz 'em.

There are a couple of things to highlight before I give you an update. To date, I’ve yet to stop smoking. I have not had a fast food meal. I have indulged. I have yet to have a proper fizzy drink. I still am not fond of broccoli. I have consumed alcohol twice, in 4 months.

8 kilograms. That’s it. That’s the sum total of the weight I have lost over the passed 4 months. Please hold the applause because I’m about to get into the nitty-gritty of what it’s been like to not only deprive ones self of everything that has meant something to them, but has literally resorted to hurting myself in prevention of cheating on Project 10. It’s been hard, harder than I ever considered possible. Going out for dinner with friends is no longer fun. Shopping for food has become a mathematical task that now literally drains the life out of me. My refusal of good, wait, let me rephrase that, great food has now become automatic, not because I want to consider possibly indulging in said temptation but because I literally don’t have the strength to think about the tasty goodness that is a normal meal.

...I'm being good, I promise! Oooh...donut!

For the first 2 months of Project 10, I keep a food diary via Twitter. Yes, I food tweeted. It’s a sin, but I felt like it gave me some perspective over my day’s consumption. I will have you know, the online support of the project was overwhelming, so before I carry on, thank you to everyone who tweeted encouragement, strength and inspiration my way for those difficult teething months. Since then, I have remained as focused as I can; avoiding every temptation I can and buying the bare minimum to sustain my body. Don’t worry, I haven’t been starving myself. I’ve checked and rechecked my calorie intake and even though it’s somewhat lower than the average, it’s perfectly healthy.

I've never been intimidated by soup, until now...

Soup.It’s now my friend. I have been lucky enough to have been given a wonderful mother who has, over the years, taught me to make soup. I might not be any good at it, but I can do it. It’s been a “god-send” because if there is one thing I’ve learnt is that soup is both, thinning and nutritious. Single sugars. I haz them. I have been disciplined enough have gradually cut down my sugar in-take to a single spoon of sugar per cup of just about anything really, which only includes coffee and tea. Coffee is my life partner. Before starting Project 10, I wasn’t the biggest coffee drinking nor was I ever truly ever a coffee drinker, nowadays; I can’t get enough of the dark goodness. It’s an incredible substance. If I had it my way, I’d be intravenously smashing the stuff in my face all day. It’s wonderful.

Nom Nom Nom Dave!

8 kilograms. You might think it’s not that much, well, I can tell you now, that the biggest improvement from a personal perspective is a visual change. I curse the day I decided not to take measurements before starting the Project because the biggest improvement is that of centimeters. I need new jeans. They’d literally slide off if I never wore a belt and I jumped up and down while doing my happy dance.

Am I happier? I guess so. I’m actually not sure. Granted, it’s been great testing my strength of mind and pushing my temptation as far as it can go, but happy? I don’t know. Let’s just say this. I’m not there yet and I know that the only way I’m going to get there is to bring back the sergeant-strict-like discipline with regards to what I take in or to do something different. I opt for the latter. From the beginning of the year I decided that I wanted to do something different than the regular stuff-yourself-in-the-gym-and-klap-it-like-a-red-headed-step-child routine and I plan to stick to it and I have come up with the following options:

Yoga – I know, right? So hot right now, especially if I go with that Bikram stuff.

Even doing it right, looks wrong...

Running – the worst possible thing I can think of doing! “But think of all the kilo’s you’d shed!” said the annoying manorexic Dave inside my head.

"Smokey Morrison...on his final lap!"

MMA – Okay, before you slam me with a “jusis, boet hey” statement, just know one thing, I’m a lover, not a fighter. It would be purely fitness. No fighting, ever. *side eyes*

I can already feel the pain...

Right. So…different, right? Right? Yeah, not exactly the most imaginative set of options, but they’re different for me and are all routines I have never tried before.

So, this is where I stand. On the weight-loss plateau, surveying the kilo’s I’ve left behind, determined to leave them there and the change in routine I know I’ll have to embrace in order to overcome what only can be called…The Plateau.

Tags: Alcohol, Blogging, Dieting, Fun, Initiative, Project10