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Moral Dilemma

As most of you know, I’ve embarked on a project of self transformation and so far, everything has been going to plan. Upon deciding to take on the challenge of ‘Project 10’ – my journey, to experience the trials and tribulations of attempting to lose 10kgs this year – I didn’t take into account the fact that I am a…‘Best Man’ this year. Yes, I know…hard to believe that some one of the same sex, a friend, would regard me so highly as to bestow the honour of accompanying him through his last rights as a single penis.

Furthermore, the factors I never took into consideration before starting ‘Project 10’ were the following:

a.)   The Bachelors
b.)   The Wedding

Does it? Does it really though?

Yes, somewhat of an oversight on my part and hence, my Moral Dilemma. So, my issue has presented itself like an over-weight, under-endowed streaker at a Blue Bulls game. The dilemma exists in that the one thing I have chosen to give up during ‘Project 10’ is alcohol, which unfortunately is a ‘main ingredient’ to said Bachelors and apparently a wedding. When I realised that these two events would be coinciding with ‘Project 10’, I immediately resigned to the fact that I was going to be drink, for both events but the more I think about it and the further I tumble down this rabbit hole, the more I’m beginning to become attached to my success throughout the process.

Not drinking hasn’t been as life altering as I thought it would be. If anything, eliminating the booze has simply undone a lot of the short falls that accompany drinking; spending copious amounts of money that inevitably you flush down a urinal, the post party Loser Complex Syndrome that usually brings about horrid flashbacks of body shots, random hook ups and dancing like a post dramatic Vietnam Vet on New Years. I’m happy to have let go of the pre-mentioned ‘perks’ and the fact that I don’t miss either of them reiterates my attachment to the success of ‘Project 10’.

Deciding to choose is half the battle won...

So, again, the ‘Moral Dilemma’ rears its sniggering little head and says, “Hey, what’s up? You wana drink don’t? Yeah, you do…you wana drink! Yeeeah!!!” Okay, so maybe it isn’t as nasty or as peer-pressured as that, but the idea of having to drink for the two occasions is getting to me. I love my friend and I’m honoured to be his best man…so am I a bad person for not wanting to drink at a time when everyone is expected to be joyous and care-free? In other words, drunk and debaucherous! As weird as the concept sounds, I feel like I’m cheating on myself? Does that make sense? Does it sound pathetic? I feel pathetic for feeling this way. Besides, it’s just two nights…okay, 3, because his Bachelors is spread over 2 days of proposed weekend madness. So, 3 nights…3 nights out of 6  months! If it isn’t so bad, why do I feel like I’ll be posting a half mast at the victory ceremony?

Maybe I’m internalizing this too much and maybe I should just be going with the flow. If it’s only 3 nights out of 6 months, surely that’s better than most have done their entire lives? Surely it’s a greater victory if I stick to just those two events and maintain a steady course of ‘Project 10’ for the rest of the time that it’ll mean that I have achieved something? Maybe I’m taking this all to seriously and I should be lightening up on myself a little?

I mean, I have managed to come this far and I have made and incredible amount of progress over the short time I’ve been taking part in this journey.

Questions: They keep on a' coming...

So, where does my struggle then lie? With the idea of drinking? With the fact that I’m breaking my ‘Project 10’ pact? With the fact that this feels like I’m showing a lack of self-discipline?

If I drink, I’m weak-willed, if I refuse to drink I’ll be seen as a party-pooper (or wet-blanket if you like)…so where is the struggle?

Is it perception or personal control?

A Moral Dilemma…my over analysis or justified pre-regret?

8 comments on “Moral Dilemma

  1. Katherine Lewis
    March 28, 2011

    think I’m anything but your blogs ‘target market’… for bachelors and booze as links. I did have a laugh – I like the way you right. It’s ‘reader friendly’, blunt and quirky. Happy Dieting (maybe we do have that one thing in common then) x

    • Dave
      March 28, 2011

      Hi there Kath, thanks for the kudos and for the comment again! I see you reside in the UK so having someone from across the world pick on my excuse for a blog and take the time to comment is a serious compliment! Thank you again for all your supportive and kind words! Have a rocking day!

  2. lexamantis
    March 15, 2011

    I’ve never had a problem being debaucherous without drinking, but then, I’m special like that… Honestly, I understand the dilemma, but at some point project 10 will end and you will join society in all our drinking glory… so that I think it is the bigger question you’re asking…

    In the short term, or any term, there can be nothing wrong with you tipping a glass of champagne at the wedding, or have one or two whiskeys at the bachelors, if you can stick to it being one or two. (Which is another question about self control and all that all together)

    I do think that no matter what, your friend will be lucky to have you be there for him. He certainly didn’t ask for a best man in absentia rendered so by the amount of booze you’ve drank. So maybe he will appreciate the fact that you’re sober, able to be there for him and enjoy the day in that classy way that weddings should be done.

    • Dave
      March 15, 2011

      You are much wiser than I darling…much…wiser.

  3. Matt Visser
    March 15, 2011

    Ok, dude, this is a biggie.. I can see why you’re a little concerned about this decision, so I thought about what I would do if I were in your shoes and yes i’ve been there.

    Option 1 – accept that sometimes good intentions must give way to friend obligations and fall into it full swing and try make it up to yourself afterwards with renewed vigour. You’re friend hopefully only gets married once and not many ppl can say that they’ve been asked to be a best man more than a handful of times. You on the other hand can always pick up your training schedule again.

    Option 2 – your mate understands you. Being a good mate, he ought to and is perfectly ok with his best man playing the co-ordinating role and ensuring that every gets pissed and home safely. On the wedding night itself you might be able to swing the sober thing by offering to play taxi to some of your mates as a means of side stepping the issue.. “what, you’re not drinking!? ” .. “someones gotta get your drunk ass home, not shut up and dance like a tripping donkey to make me look good in front of the lady over there who is clearly impressed that I’m holding my shit together..”

    Seems win win, when you look at from the right perspectives. Wanna know what you decided though bud and remember, pics or it didn’t happen..

    • Dave
      March 15, 2011

      Howsit buddy,

      I can always count on you to give the best advice. Thank you and I get what you’re saying. I think for me it’s more than just the wedding and the bachelors playing interference with the journey, it’s more to do with the fact that I’m feeling like I’d be letting myself down – it’s like an Olympic Sprinter who smashes the World Record for the 100m dash and then tests positive for dwlems…I mean…what was the point. I feel like the singular slip up means that it wasn’t in it 100%…you know…like I’d be taking second best to an effort that I really should’ve gone the whole way with.

      I’m not sure I’d be able to handle the weekend without drinking and unfortunately I know what it’ll mean if I do…I’ll got he whole-hog and really run-a-muck! I’m finding this all a little difficult to put down onto paper and the more I mull over it in words the more I’m starting to get frustrated with it. Regardless of that, thank you for the comment Matty…always appreciate your opinion man, you always speak-a-da-truth and that’s why I respect you man! Cheers!

  4. Lil-T
    March 14, 2011

    I’m sure your friend will understand if you choose not to drink…they’ve stuck with you through the last few months already 🙂
    If you do choose to drink, stick to the healthier options like whisky…

    • Dave
      March 14, 2011

      It sounds so avatarded saying…a “healthier option”, right?

      Anyway, thanks Tazzie…always appreciate you coming by and commenting.

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This entry was posted on March 14, 2011 by in Blogging, David Alves and tagged , , , , , , , .
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