|Everything and Nothing|
Without sounding melodramatic, there is a massive need to say what I’m about to say and I’m going to attempt to say it in the easiest way I know how. After a month of being on one of the most arduous journeys I have ever partaken, I feel as though I need to say a few things before carrying on with Project 10.
As most of you who read this load of hogwash will know that over the past couple of weeks I have been on a serious journey of “reshaping” as it may. I’m doing a lot of things different this year, for one, I have given up alcohol, all types to be exact and don’t bring up the fact that drinking a glass of wine in good for you and that whiskey is an non-fattening alcohol, because I might just spike your drink the next time you’re around. Let me begin by telling you the reasons for giving up the drink.
Honestly, I’ve found it easier than giving up anything else because the power and the urge remains in my hands. Simply, I can easily stop my self from ordering a drink from a waiter or buying alcohol. I think out of all the things I truly miss over this last month, alcohol is the one thing I miss the least. Sure, the appeal of talking crap with work colleagues on a Friday afternoon is still there and has left me feeling “unfilled” at the end of the week but in hindsight, I’m starting to embrace “sobriety” as it may.
First of all, I’m way more observant on the social scene, whether that is a good or a bad thing has yet to be determined (simply because I think that most of the time, not seeing certain actions and mannerisms while you’re “on the piss” can work in your favour). Secondly, I’m saving money…a sh*t load actually.
Over the last month I have spent less than R100 every time I have gone out with friends, which is a huge change to the R500-R1000 I have been spending on a weekend basis per month. I know, right? If you work it out, that’s close to R4K I’m saving per month. Ridiculous when you think about it actually! Thirdly, I’ve embraced the mellow. I find that I’m a lot calmly and more composed when it comes to everyday life or situations that present themselves in the social scene. Before I was the first person to voice my “rub-you-up-the-wrong-opinion” and lately, the fact that I can really bit my tongue, which I have almost perfected in the professional environment, has infiltrated into my social life. Lastly, I don’t miss the hangovers nor am I feeling I’m missing out on anything when it comes to hearing my friends having their “weekend-benders” or week drinking episodes for that matter – I really don’t miss those.
If it sounds like I’m still trying to convince myself that what I’m doing is a good thing, well, maybe you’re right and I guess I’m having to reassure myself that this “dry spell” is a good thing. When I think of it logically, all of the positive points I have mentioned above are good, inherently good actually and have impacted positively on my life, but there is this part of me that is still trying to weigh up the idea and feeling of having a frivolously, alcohol induced good time with the positive anecdotes stated above. That might seem stupid to you but in the end, giving up something that was never a problem, so-to-speak, to attain a health, wealth and a self-improving goal is much harder than giving something up that was life threatening.
At this stage in Project 10, I’m happy to announce that I have lost, solidly (meaning maintaining the loss for more than 3 days), 6 kilograms. I know, it’s ridiculous and apparently it has all fallen off my face.
But honestly, I havenoticed an vast improvement in my physical appearance. I somewhat regret not measuring myself before starting this never mind taking photo’s for a before and after comparison. Regardless, there has been an improvement both physically and mentally.
Keeping focused is not my biggest struggle, it’s more so the fighting the urges to reward myself for the “hard work” I have done so far. I’m petrified that if I jinx it’ll set me off on a path to self-destruction/ slash/ indulgence… see what I did there?
So far, it’s become easier to not think and focus on the diet as much as I have been in the past couple of weeks and to me, that’s progress.