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Rediscovering Darkness.

For the love of all things candy coated, I cannot actually tell the you the reason for this post, but recently I have rediscovered a darker side of me that I have not seen in a while. Now, before you go running off to the exorcist, my little dark side is not a destructive nor is it a hurtful, spiteful or detrimental-to-ones-health kind of dark side.

Come to the Dark Side, the have bitches…I mean cookies!

It’s the kind of dark side that had an affection for introspection, poetry writings, dark doodling and sketching, a love for macabre photography, art and literature. Okay, so we all have a dark side but I think once upon a time my darker side was more important to me than I realise. This darker side was productive – sure, maybe it stopped me smiling in photographs, but then again I don’t really smile in photo’s any way…and you’ll only see it if you really know me.

Back to the darkness – well, what can I tell you? Well, I’m reconnecting with some seriously old music that I thought I had left behind ages ago. Some that I could only recall in snippets of a music video I remember watching from the mid nineties. I know right? Bizarre, but beautiful at the same time. Yes, I used the work beautiful and dark in the same paragraph –

– to me…and this is here I’m going to unfortunately lose you –

I find security in the darkness. I find security in knowing that sadness or the bottom is as far as things can possibly tumble and fall. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy, professionally things could not be better – okay, they can, but give me a couple of years for that dream to come to fruition, but things are great. I think it’s a re-adoption of a darker mindset and approach that has brought about this rediscovery and you know what…it feels good, really good. There are no pretenses, no expectations and no possibly way of letting someone in who has the potential to hurt, deceive or make you feel vulnerable. I’m tired of feeling that way and maybe this is my defense mechanism? Maybe this is just a front, but it feels darn good knowing that I’m impenetrable  is the most reassurance that I’ve had in a long time.

Rediscovering darkness is the way I rebuild.

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4 comments on “Rediscovering Darkness.

  1. Flexter World
    October 12, 2010

    good idea bro

    • Dave
      October 12, 2010

      Thanks bud.

      Appreciate the sentiment.

  2. Coach
    October 12, 2010

    Ironically, the dark side you describe is a very hopeful one and one I think most readers can relate to. If you’ve established and truly accept what’s the worst case scenario in most circumstances, you tend to better off – mentally at least. I believe the simple reason behind that is that you’ve removed the fear of the unknown. . now if you’re seeing a never-ending pit of despair… that would be dark.

    • Dave
      October 12, 2010

      Yoh! Coach in the House!

      Thanks for the comment bud. Yes, I think there is a little light at this ridiculously stupid tunnel metaphor but in essence I have tried to communicate the fact that this has all been a mindset adaptation more than a journey and thus, more of a permanency state of mind than a transition – if you catching my drift. I think in some respect you’re right though – this does have a glimmer of hope, which is comforting and inevitably true because no one, and I mean no one can remain intrinsically negative. I never expressed that I was being negative, I think this has all been the insertion of a darker filter on my perception of reality at the moment is all.

      Thanks for the comment though, much appreciate Coach!

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This entry was posted on October 12, 2010 by in David Alves and tagged , , , , .
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