|Swimming Upstream|v2.0|

|Everything and Nothing|

5 Things…I Loathe!!!

(WARNING: This post is filled with so much of rage…but couldn’t help but laugh at myself after reading it…! Hope you do too!)

I set out writing this post last week Friday and it has been somewhat of an inner turmoil for me because I’m a generally moody/grumpy/old-before-my-time/Clint-Eastwood-from-Gran-Torino kind of guy…all the time…don’t ask, it’s just my way about things…and because of my ‘ways’, I struggled with really putting my moody-little-finger on what truly bugged me…wait…it’s stronger than that, despised…wait…stronger…hated…wait…more focused…LOATHED!!!

Getting right into it, please take into consideration that some, possibly all of these loathed items may seem strange to you, but these are the small insignificant everyday niggles that haunt my every move…just deal with it…

1. People that chew with their mouth open!

Holy sh*tballs…!!! It really is enough for me to reach across the table and force-feed them through a straw, simultaneously kicking them in their nether-regions! I know…sounds harsh huh? Well, it is…I cannot stand it…! My tolerance has actually gotten much better over the years, before I used to stand up, walk (sometimes) 20 meters away to tell someone to close their mouths while they’re eating…! It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it…*vom*

No comment.

2. People that pull “gang signs” in photographs!

This has got to be one of my all time loathes…! Jeez! Getting worked up about it already…even writing this is not making me any calmer…! I honestly cannot trace it back to it’s source, as in, who was the first to pull that stupid back-handed ‘peace-sign’ (which I love by-the-by – I think the ‘peace sign’ is a perfectly acceptable hand signal to pull for a photograph), but the back-hand one…F@*K ME…I loathe…! If I knew who the first person to pull that stupid hand signal was, I’d invent a time machine, go back in time to find that idiot and cut off their fingers with a rusty screwdriver! (Now try pulling that hand signal ‘STUMPY’!!!)

I only say the ‘vato’s’ above are, “Doing it right”, because they look legit and would probably gut me otherwise…

3. The Icecream Truck and your stupid song…!

This goes back to my childhood, which was less than unfortunate. In my adult years, I have the least sweet tooth out of anyone I know and I’m pretty sure it has to do with the fact that I was denied – NOT on purpose – the sweet-sweet goodness by the Icecream man…! I used to live in the South of Johannesburg, in one of the most awkwardly situated streets (as I remember correctly) which made it hard for anyone to enter and exit – it was at a road-ending that was supposed to be extended over the hill where we lived and it never was, so on the map, it looked like a dead end – SO, the Icecream man NEVER bothered coming – BUT – it never stopped him from torturing me with his music did it? NOOOOOOOOO…he just kept playing it and playing it until it faded away, each and everyday, into the distance…! My blood boils when I hear that sound today…*bastard*

Who’s the bitch now Lolly-Pop-Loser?!?!

4. Popped Collars…F@*K!!!

This is to all the douchebags out there (yes – I’m laying down the challenge) who wear their shirts, with their collars…popped, to explain to me, what is beneficial – style-orientated or practical – about wearing your collar…popped…?!!? I’m dying to know! And for something as simple as flipping your collar up, if you do not have a legitimate reason in the first 3 seconds of my challenge, then you sir…are a DOUCHEBAG…a Bag-O-Douche…a Douche-de-la-Bag…! (This point is completely self-explanatory…)

I dare you to defend yourself………douchebag…!

5. People that take photo’s…like this…!

Okay…so, maybe, once or twice I have fallen victim to a lovely lady or two taking a photograph of myself and her as she points and holds with an outstretched arm…I admit it…but not a F@*K will I ever be caught dead taking a photograph with my friends like that…! For one, it looks extremely feminine when a guy is doing it and secondly, why are you taking photographs anyway…? Girls take photographs buddy…so put your Cybershot away please…*thank you* – I loathe these people…

There are no words…only evil plotting!

So hopefully this has given you a little more insight into what you shouldn’t do around me – I’m just kidding – I’m an openly opinionated person who pretty much has one on everything, but just chooses not to say anything…most of the time…and the other 5% of that time, I speak up…and this was just one of those occasions.

*Everything time I read the word ‘loathe‘, my brain sees ‘loofah‘*Don’t know why…*

Advertisements

20 comments on “5 Things…I Loathe!!!

  1. tinyjax
    June 25, 2010

    Someone standing behind you crunching an apple and then chewing with their mouth open. I’m pretty sure people have been shot for less.

    Funny post 🙂

    • davidanthony0904
      June 25, 2010

      You damn right they have.

      I can handle the sound of chewing, don’t mind that, but if I have to see what you’re chewing anytime during the mastication process…fuggen hell…death becomes you, I guarantee it!

      *voms in mouth*

  2. Amor Lunn
    June 3, 2010

    couldn’t agree more!

    • davidanthony0904
      June 3, 2010

      Thanks Amor.

      Nice to have you come and pay me a visit!
      Much appreciated luv. Take care.

  3. kay
    June 1, 2010

    Whomever pops a collar needs a f*ck’n good wack on the nape of the pip!
    As for the hand signs…gee Dave, thanx for commenting on ‘a certain pic’ on ‘a certain social network’ with ‘a certain person’ doing that handsign you “loathe” so passionately….remind me to borrow an ice-cream van…
    😉

    • davidanthony0904
      June 2, 2010

      *double snort* Awwh…is someone self-conscious of their photo-pose now? Well, if it’s any consolation, you look hot in any photo, gang sign or no gang sign, but if you really want to impress…leave the “P Duffy” send outs at home…

  4. Matt Visser
    June 1, 2010

    Great post man, made the beginning of the week slightly more manageable. nutter…

    • davidanthony0904
      June 1, 2010

      *snort* Thanks man, appreciate the comment…thinking of my next post, “My Top 5 Secret Celeb Crushes”…oh yes…it’s going to get really weird, really fast…!

  5. Amy Ford
    June 1, 2010

    Oh my. That was hysterical!! You have such an entertaining way of writing things. You write exactly how you speak 😀 I love the touch that the pictures bring to the post too. I also totally agree about the loofah-loathes thing, my brain does that too.

    • davidanthony0904
      June 1, 2010

      Thanks Amy…

      At least you’re gaining a better understanding of who, how and what I think…

      I’m not so bad.

      • Amy
        June 1, 2010

        Nah, you’re not so bad 🙂 But then I never thought you were! I think if I had to create my list of “5 Things I Loathe” it would have to include:

        #pPl DaT wRt LuK dIz oN aL dEr StAtUs .:’>>*UPDATZ*<<':. Retards.

  6. shutterboo
    June 1, 2010

    People still pop their collars? I thought that was an 80s thing? Those guys only wear 4 shirts because their mom still does their laundry.

    • davidanthony0904
      June 1, 2010

      Hahaha…nicely put luv…

      That has got to be my biggest pet hate, here in South Africa, we have a “breeker” or a “ghey” around every corner and it seems like they pop those “bad boys” to make up for the lack of conversation – kind of like a dilophosaurus – hoping they’ll blind their victims (after spitting int heir eyes) and seem more imposing than they really are? Who knows…

      Image reference for popped collar boys: dilophosaurus *snort*

      • shutterboo
        June 1, 2010

        The image brings it full circle. I’ve been enjoying reading through your blog today. 🙂

      • davidanthony0904
        June 1, 2010

        Thank you luv, I appreciate you coming back and checking on my original reply…! The images really resonates with how ‘douchey’ the movement really has become…it’s a sad sad time in men’s fashion!

        Thank you again…welcome to come back and comment anytime…!

  7. Adam Mitchell
    June 1, 2010

    You are one crazy chap! Guess that’s why I like reading your banter. Will be sure to get you some Sinful when you come to CT. Awesome pics for this post bud! You must be the only oak I know who thinks taking pics is for chicks, haha! My nose gets in the way when taking photo’s like that, so I refrain.

  8. Lisa Troy
    June 1, 2010

    LMAO you are more disturbed than I thought. But my ❤ goes out to you about the ice cream thing. TOTALLY CRUEL. xxx

    • davidanthony0904
      June 1, 2010

      Disturbed? Excuuuse me? I take offense to that Ms.Troy…seriously, I don’t come across at that twisty, do I?

      Please don’t mention the Icecream man…I can haz tears…

  9. Rubyletters
    June 1, 2010

    I despise…no loathe…(love the word) people who chew with their mouths open….it’s gross and disgusting *gag*. Had a bit of a *snort* at your loofah brain:P

    • davidanthony0904
      June 1, 2010

      Thanks for that Letty, you rock…yah…’loofah’…I don’t know why, my brain just reads it that way, I know what the word is, my brain just sees what it wants to see I guess!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on June 1, 2010 by in Blogging, David Alves, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .
%d bloggers like this: