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The Troll of Reason…

A couple of weeks ago I had decided to change things a little – or – accept change as it may. Yes, change…supposedly it does some good (so said that skinny singer chickie who was married to Lance Armstrong – her name eludes me – I kid the Crow fans) and that good seems to have readjusted my perception on my own life more than anything else.

Now, I haven’t “found G-d” nor have I decided to finally pick up yoga, but what I have realised is that…

…I’m getting older…

Now, I know that might sound kinda strange coming from a guy who’s only 26 (yes…I know…I know…) but it’s true, I feel older. I wrote a post on the 9th of last month, concreting my name in the history books for writing a blog post on my actual birthday – so choice – and in that very post I proclaimed that “I didn’t necessarily feel older“, which I truly didn’t, but over the last couple of weeks…be it emotionally or (dare I say) ‘physically‘, I feel older. I can’t put my finger on the exact set of emotions, moments or change that has contributed to this feeling of change, but it’s there – no in the way that it impedes on my lifestyle in anyway – but it’s like this little reminder, like a tiny little ‘troll’ that sits on my shoulder speaking words of random – sometimes wise – sometimes extremely aged – but words of reason nevertheless.

I’ll give you a perfect example:

The other night I went out for drinks with a friend of mine, ‘partying it up’ we slowly but surely get into the sociable mood and start chatting to members of the opposite sex. Now, what I notice immediately is my confidence is quite high this particular evening and the quick and humorous banter flows forth with ease and I appear to be getting a better response than my ‘team mate’ who unfortunately is doing more drinking than talking – so what do I do – I drink less – not more – LESS – but…

Why?

Why did I hold back?

Why did I restrain myself?

Why ‘oh’ why?

>>> I’ll tell you why <<<

Damn you Reason Troll…!!!

Because that stoooopid little troll said,

“Hey boetie, that oke looks like an idiot and is going to feel lekker kak tomorrow – right now – focus on the bint – drink slow – go home early and you’ll feel even more lekker tomorrow…”

Yah…I almost *gasp* at myself when I think that over in my head! Now, a couple of years ago, I would have thought ‘slotting them away’ would have been a better idea, no? More alcohol = more confidence? Well, no…doesn’t seem like it works that way for me and for some odd reason…I listened…it’s as though the trolls words were as penetrative as the narration from Morgan Freeman in “Shawshank Redemption” YAH…you know you listen up when he opened his mouth

Moving on and getting back to the underlying issue of ‘age’ here – I have found myself in more than one occasion (such as the above) since my birthday! I know…scary…or maybe it’s just a change in approach – or maybe maturity – or maybe my testicles have finally dropped (10 points for the over share)…either way, things have changed…*egh*…maybe change is too strong of a word…how about a sense ‘progression’, or ‘transition’, ‘development’ – whatever it is…it’s different…and most of the time, different is good…

It’s geewd.

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8 comments on “The Troll of Reason…

  1. aquaticcharne
    May 20, 2010

    David.

    You are but a year older than I am. I fear that I will have to say that you are only but GROWING UP.
    I have now subscribed to SAFECAB – If I go out, I get home safe. Also, the 21 year old girl I used to be is now a 25 year old lady with a mission of taking over the world – so alcohol comes last on my list, though I’ll never say no to wine nor whiskey.

    Your feelings are shared, and you’re not the only one. (what a consolation I’m sure!) Always remember however, to play your music loud, dance around in your livingroom like no one is watching and sing as loud as you can in the shower… as the amount of stress and burdens we carry is only alleviated by the ‘young-at-heart’ approach as previously mentioned… Hope you have an enlightening day – your blogs are entertaining 🙂

  2. Zane Dickens
    May 18, 2010

    Well with age comes wisdom, I suppose.

    And a weaker bladder, both which apply to the above 😛

    I had some funny comment about TMI and bonding blah blah but I switched tabs on you and now I’ve forgotten…

    Damn the internet and multi-tab browsing!

    • davidanthony0904
      May 18, 2010

      Yah yah…Alzheimer has hit you early buddy!

      Thanks for the comment Zane.

  3. Ruby
    May 18, 2010

    Maturity…..it happens to most people eventually….it’s good:) I approve:p

    • davidanthony0904
      May 18, 2010

      Hmm…I don’t think I have been previously disadvantaged but my supposed “immaturity” – but – I could possibly be seeing a different side to my already existent “maturity” – change is change I guess.

      • Ruby
        May 18, 2010

        Def not a disadvantage….part of life….a very Important part of life actually…..but it’s also important to acquire wisdom and to apply that wisdom:) hence maturity being good:)

  4. Briget
    May 18, 2010

    ??26??

    I feel so very old right now!

    • davidanthony0904
      May 18, 2010

      Oh Briget, please…

      I thought I’d say that you’re only as old as:

      – You feel
      – The man you’re f*cking
      – The movies you watch on your own

      Either one of those is totally acceptable…!

      Thank you for the comment.

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This entry was posted on May 18, 2010 by in Blogging, David Alves and tagged , , , , , , , .
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