A South African Birthday

Do I feel older?

No.

Do I feel wiser?

Maybe.

Do I feel better?

Sometimes.

Do you even like your Birthday?

No.

Yes, it’s true…not too fond of my Birthday day…it’s just one of those official days that reminds people that you’re still alive…! Sound a little morbid? Well think about it, when a person dies, you don’t exactly celebrate their birthday each year, now do you? Unless you have serious separation issues…but that’s your problem, not mine. If I was living in another country, not knowing a sole and experiencing this exact day, I would feel exactly the same as I do right now — indifferent —

I have been on somewhat of an anti-social hiatus, feeling displaced, from possible personal exclusion – I’m not sure – at the moment and sadly enough I feel more confident in myself sitting behind this ridiculous keyboard. Not going to divulge into why I feel this way because to be honest I cannot tell you…I have no idea, maybe it’s pressure from work  in conjunction with the “state of the nation” – yes, a political stab…on my “Birthday” of all days! I think that with everything that has been happening in South Africa at the moment, including the recent spat of ridiculous occurrences, I have retracted my once upon-a-time diverse and strong opinions…for what I’m not exactly sure, but what I do know is that with all of this going on, there are so many different opinions and discussions going on that another voice among the noise will only add to the confusion and the last thing I want to do is have my opinion lost among all the bullsh*t that is floating around. I pride myself on speaking when spoken to and sharing an opinion only when I think is necessary because I have something valuable to contribute…and at present, with all “the noise” circulating at the moment…I have nothing to add.

Now that might sound somewhat defeatist and cowardly – especially for someone who supposedly has “strong opinions on everything” – but the truth is that, if you don’t know where I stand as a person, as a South African, then you do not know who I am.

I am a South African, always have been and always will be.

This is my country and I shall not be moved.

I shall not be moved.

I shall not be moved.

I shall not be moved.