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Honda can go F*ck themselves…

This post is being written with a head full of mucus, stiff body and on a stinkingly hot day.

To make a f*cking long story very short, I was in a bumper bashing some 6 weeks ago…after a huge annoyance with the panel beaters know as “Grand Panel Beaters” who did less than a shitty job putting my car back together (*FYI* My car was not aesthetically complete until I found out the true source of the electrical problems.).  I took the car thinking everything was (relatively) hunky-doory, there was a front towing cap missing and some lines weren’t right, but I needed it ok…the next morning I turn on the car and my ABS light and VSA (Stability Control) light comes on in the car.  So I think to myself, this is definitely an electrical or “Honda Orientated” issue…so like any other dumbass, I take it on down to the dealership/service center where I originally bought the car…to explain what happened in dialogue orientated D!ck terms…

“Oh don’t worry sir, simple problem to fix, the battery is probably run down from when the panel beaters fixed your car!” Says greasy person.

“Yah, that makes perfect sense, so what’s the plan…?” I ask unbeknown of the bullsh!t that will ensue.

“We’ll just reset the computer and everything will be fine” Said the grease monkey.

“Rocking!” I reply. (Dumbass)

So, everything seems fine and the brakes are perfect and off I go.

The next morning I wake up, turn on the car and *BANG* the f*cking same lights come on again – unf*ckingbelievable – so there I go, back to Honda and inquire once again about what the issue is.

What came from the second encounter with The Service King and Troupe at this sorry excuse for a dealership was that my battery must have dead cells in it or some sh!t…that’s great…they then proceeded to want to charge me for a battery – R1200.00 – are you f*cked in the head???  I drive off searching frantically for a Battery Center, have another one installed and everything is back to being hunky-f*cking-doory…until the next morning…yes…you guess it…

I wake up, and the f*cking-b*tch-c*nt-lights come back on…you can imagine my utter rage…and I don’t feel rage often, apart from right now…but yes, rage…so, back to The Cesspit known as Honda I go to complain yet again…hey…at least I got a new battery…wait…f*ck…that doesn’t sound right…

So, I am eventually handed over to “The Service Manager” of the center, he rigs my car up to some ancient computer that tells him…not me…him, that my car’s ABS Sensor and Pump have stopped working and could be damaged…”Oh, you think?”….

“That’s great” I say, “What do you want me to do about it…?”

The Service King answers with, “It’s not yours or my problem sir, it was the panel beaters prerogative to change this part as it was most likely damaged in the accident”.

“Awesome” I say wanting to simultaneously jam his head in his own ass and make him take 10 deep breaths…(Burn)

I inevitably cannot handle the bullsh!t any more and ask Honda to deliver the car back to the panel beaters (Double Burn) thinking that I’m going to score here, they’ll fix the last aesthetic issues I have with the car and they’ll replace the ABS pump…(BURN!!!)

…a week later…yes, a week later I pick up the car…lines look great, the colour matches, new light, car cleaned as new…looked great, start it up…no issues…*Thank Christ* I think to myself (And I’m an Atheist…imagine!)  So happy I could have f*cked it…the car I mean…

Next morning…7:15AM…the lights………………….f*cking came on…again…the rage…ensues…

After spending a day on the phone between both Honda and Grand Panel Beaters, it was settled that there was a miss communication between the two of them and the part that was supposed to be changed…the f*cking ABS Pump…was not ordered or changed by the panel beaters as they weren’t told by Honda…I scream…”Awesome” at the top of my lungs…

What was the final consensus was that the car would be sent back to Honda and they would change the part and the Panels Beaters will sort out the payment between them and Honda for the part…I think to myself, “This is great, the two of them can fight this out and I’ll pick up my *biatch* when the smoke clears!” ——> Double Dumbass!!!

So the elusive ABS Pump is now nowhere in sight…literally, not a single dealership or parts warehouse has one in South Africa (Hard to believe it…well f*cking believe it sister…f*ck!)

I have been informed by The Service King that it will take 15 (working) days for the part to arrive from Japan or where ever the hell these parts come from…so, I submit…I can no longer fight…I am a beaten man and my car, like a castrated kitten, sits hopeless at that Cesspit of a Service Station…

Now the fun begins…it has been a week and I have been conveniently placed on the “courtesy car list” – oh, is that a list for all the f*cking morons you like to fob off because you can’t handle them making kak for you all blady day??? Huh huhuhuhuhuh…! (BURN!!!)

Today, I have been down their throats about it and still nothing…even though my car has a motor plan, is still on warranty and is currently stored at the exact dealership I bought it from…

I.  Am.  Now.  Ready.  To.  Kill. ——-> (BURN!!!)


7 comments on “Honda can go F*ck themselves…

  1. David Alves
    December 9, 2009

    —>>> UPDATE <<<—I picked up my car this afternoon, all seemed in order and I was assured that there would not be a repeated of the inconsistencies of the previous fuck ups…well, let me tell you, if I wake up tomorrow morning and those piece'0'shit lights come on…I am going to do my dilly'nut all the way back to Honda and drive my fucking car through their showroom doors…this is not a threat, this is no hearsay…this is a legitimate fact…be warned, I might be arrested tomorrow but it'll be worth the ass-pounding in chookie…!Signing off, hopefully for the last time —>Anxious Honda-Boy!!!

  2. David Alves
    December 1, 2009

    —>External update<—Reply for Honda via HelloPeter.com —>"Hello TenaciousD,Thanks for forwarding us your concern.We have made a loan vehicle available to the dealership who will make it available to you.We are also following up with our parts department in regards to the part that is on order.If there is anything else we could assist with feel free to contact us on either 0800 HONDA 1 or care@honda.co.za.Gavin HendricksCustomer Care"—> Yes yes, that's great, now get back to work pr@t!

  3. David Alves
    November 30, 2009

    ————->UPDATE<————–I picked up my courtesy car today and I have to admit, I'm impressed, I don't know what it was but it seemed like from the minute I walked through the doors the people at #Honda immediately knew who I was and why I was there…So…the car is good, really good…but I still have a complaint…sound like a whiny little b!tch now, but the fact remains that I had to take the initiative today and phone them about what was actually happening with the courtesy car…yes, I phoned them because by 13:00 this afternoon I had not heard a peep…so yes, that seems to be my final complaint unless they give me back my own car and the same electrical issues comes up —> never mind the blady battery!So there it is…until I receive my own car back…this is me, Pissed Off Honda Boy…signing out! Thank you for your comments and support!

  4. David Alves
    November 30, 2009

    11:35AM —>>> I am still waiting for my call from Honda to let me know when I can come and pick up my "courtesy car" which is seemingly turning into a later model, this the model style is called…"The thanks for com!ng d!ckhead, we're going to stuff you around until you actually come into the showroom/dealership and want to unleash double-Uzi's on the entire staff" —>…yes, it's an extended model name, but appropriate for the no-more-bullsh!t time it was designed for —> FFS!!!

  5. David Alves
    November 27, 2009

    And so the plot thickens —-> I have just been informed by "The Service King" that they are not able to get my courtesy car from Honda SA today —-> Monday is the soonest I will have the car —-> "The Service King" even offered me his company car, I politely refused…another weekend without a car…f*cking awesome!

  6. David Alves
    November 27, 2009

    Thanks for that Ivan, I had posted them the blog and then late last night sent them through a Hello Peter report which supposedly really gets their attention —> was interesting to see actually, now —–> not more than 20mins ago, I was called by the accused and informed that they have made a courtesy car available for me —–> now, it took them less than 12hrs to make this right, they either have an incredibly strong Online Reputation Manangement team or just a great PR Dept. —-> whatever or who ever it was, just know that this blog will stand and evern though traffic to my blog is not high enough, people will see it…one day, some day and that what happened. PS: I still refuse to give Honda a #brandplus tag —-> Thanks to all that read and supported.

  7. Ivan Ayliffe
    November 26, 2009

    Dude. Make HondaHell a la DellHell. #trashthemonline

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This entry was posted on November 26, 2009 by in Blogging, Brandminus, Complaints, David Alves, Honda, Johanneburg, Shocking Service, Social Media, Twitter.
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